Running

I thought could run from him
But I can't.
This man who loves me like no other
I was made to love him
Afraid of what others would think of me if I gave him my heart
Ran like hell from what I knew would eventually catch up with me.
I used to wonder why I would be so unhappy,
Expecting the world to pay back what I thought they owe me.
Looking for my joy, in his arms
And their clubs, those shoes, and dollar bills.
Mindless mumbling zombie whistling the capitalism theme song in my head.
Cash rules everything around me, cream get the money dollar dollar bills yall.
But naw, it didn't take away the pain.
Money compared to him is like a band aid versus the cure,
The biggest hit he certainly was, making all other things obscure.
But I was afraid of his love thought I was unworthy,
Thought you had to be pure and whole to be with him,
And certainly I was dirty.
There would be times I would be amazed at his love,
And this impacted my own spirituality.
Times where my whole life seemed to fall in peace,
Sent my mind in spirals tryna to figure out what this was.
Till one day I didn't have to wonder no more,
Cause the love I feel now, it has always been, and always was, nothing but God