WTF.

So....
Today i had a momentary absent of sanity.
Let's just say i went off.
It all started cause i was supposed to take my driving license test.
Told everybody
Made a big "hoopla"
And didn't get the damn thing.
AND I DIDN'T EVEN FAIL.
my grandmother's car wasn't registered.
So now i have to pay fifty and take my test whenever i get the chance.
Now that doesn't sound too bad.
But this is what i did.

I literally brokedown. It was soo embarrasing.
But this was something, i had desired dreamed about, and finally found the time to do.
And on top of that fifty fucking dollars for something i should have been had.

anywyay.

I learned that i shouldn't let my schedule fuck wit my brain like that again.
I started bringin other stuff in, the mess. Talking about how i'm failing physics
and i hate school. How i need to clean my room. And i kinda just wanna leave my body for a minute. I reminded me of United States of Tara. I would have gladly turned into a diffrent person at that moment. But the worse part is, it wasn't even that serious! I know i was tripping, but i could not control myself. I just equated so much to having my license....
And now, i'm just in a pissy mood. And i don't know for how long. All day people have been telling me how evil i look, and now i know what they're talking about. This is how i been feeling since sunday.


When that bitch D. Duncan set me up!lol. but that's a story in it's self.
So, nice nia, is taking a leave of absence till Monday. I think i'll just embrace it and be a bitch till then. it's just too strong to fight.

Disturbia

I can't get Rihanna's Disturbia song out my head.
It's really fucking with me.
Anyway, i just felt the need to express my excitement at really and truly finding a place to express myself openly.
And while comments would be nice (wink wink)
I write this for me.
My friends who see me everyday have no idea i have a blog.
And i like it like that.
They don't need to know EVERYTHIN about me, Right?
That's kinda weird and unhealthy.
Goodnite;*
Random Pic from DR trip.
Great fucking times.Soothes my Soul. Gotta Go Back

omg. my new artist to watch.

Not the performance i saw, but close enough.

So.....

Saw Solange and Estelle last night at Rams Head Live.

Which by the way is a nice place. Very underrated.

Any way. Solange rocked my socks off.

I hate to use this word but she was soo fuckin >"cool"

She looked good, can't really dance, is smart, and has no ass at all.

Qualities i can see in my self.

But never the less, her performance was thee truth.

Now i don't want to dick ride, but she is def coming into her own.

I can digg it. She gives weird, intelligent, but beautiful girls like myself

INSPIRATION

mean just because you're smart doesn't mean your not glamourous.

Don't believe the hype, every nerd is not introverted and arkward.

Some of us are graceful and plain ole' sexy.

Basically, she inspired me to keep traveling on my path, and not to get get caught up in what others think of me.

And when she mixed "Electric Feel" in her set, lets just say..

I LIVE!!!!!

my new obsession (besides kyle..chill)lmao.

okay....so cruisin on youtube on a bored monday night i came across, well lets just say some intresting behavior.
"Vogue battles at the Ball"
OMG. i found my self jammin, like there's no tommorow.
I'm soo on it.
And i was makin myself look like a fool tryna walk and drop.
all i hear when i go to sleep now is
Oh yes to the yes yes....

ohhwee.

So it's like 11:55 in the almost AM.
Can't sleep.
Thinkin' bout, well i'll never tell you.
And surely, i'll regret this in the morning.
But sometimes you gotta do what feels good.
Hittin the keys at 11:58
by the light of the laptop is
closer than close
to a mental orgasm right now.
And god damn it feels good.
Yup, I'm havin a erotic write off.
I was a virgin to the word before this moment.
But i can no longer fight my urges.
Can't squeeze my legs tight enough at night
Can't bite my pillow hard enough.
Palms gettin wet thinkin about it.
Fingers gettin stiff with metaphors.
Ready to get off
write now
in whichever way i can.
Tonite i'm tryna a new postion.
Lying on my stomach as i type
Feeling like a diffrent type of girl.
As this unfurls.
Damn.
Every key stroke
feels so intense.
A s p a c e bar curls my toes.
Enter key.
Enter key.
Enter key.
Feels so good fcuk a spell check.
i can't use protection with this one.
It feels like a small heart attack.
In the small of my back
As the curve of my wrist
turns into the palm of my hand
the length of my fingers
as i
tap,
tap,
tap
my own keys
in my own bed.
On a sleepless night.
Shit.
And my s p a c e bar
retracts as my heart slows down.
shit.
in need
of weed now.
shit.
goodnight.