Big Mistake #1 "One Big Ass"

This is a cartoon I drew last semester.

Thoughts on the End of my First Semester

Things I've Learned My First Semester

1. The Way the World Works
Apparently, humans all want the same thing. Some are just more aware of want they want then others. Some humans want to live basic. That is, to survive, they think about life day to day, worry about the here and now.
Others, we'll call them dreamers, think about life beyond the here and now. They dream about the future and wonder about the possibilities of life after their death. These people are the innovators, the Thomas Edison's, the Lena Horne's, the Susan B. Anthony's.
I strive to be like them. I want to live in a world where I use my present to make my future better for my kids, and their kids. For the generations to come long after I've died.

2. Real Friends Last
I've made a lot here in my first semester at UMBC. But I still feel just as confident in my relationships with the people I met in high school and middle school. #thatisall :)

3. Nobody Really Gives a Fuck
Plain and Simple. See number 5

4. It's Hard Living With a Stranger
But it's cool, when you guys have a little in common. My roommate was pretty cool. Guess you can say I made a new friend.

5. As you get Older, Shit Gets Realer
And it ain't even to much I can say about that. SMH

6. You Really Do Determine Your Life
EVERYTHING we do now, determines our future. And not just our future. Everyone's around us as well.

7. All Dreams don't come true, but sometimes that's okay
Sometimes, the dreams are just that; dreams. Hell, what would the world be like if everyone got what they wanted all the time anyway? Perfect

8.History really is important
And this I learned from watching "The History of Us" on the History Channel Sunday nights at 9. Definitely inspiring, and worthwhile. I learned that while some entertainer are good at what they do, they wont be remembered for anything significant. Real celebrity status comes when you change the fundamentals of basic human life. Not invent the latest dance style. We've got to stop teaching our kids to look up to Hollywood. The world is bigger than People Magazine.

9. College is over-rated...
Like a bitch.

10. ...but God willing, it'll be worth it.
Lord knows I hope I learn somethings, meet some people, and grow while I'm here.
I just hope I don't have to hurt nothing along the way. :)

My Movement

I shine, you shine.
I'm tryna see my people rise.
Cement shoes are prohibited on my boat.
We tryna swim in the lap of luxury
With those on, you won't even float.
See thats why I built a moat
for hating ass bitches like you.
Thats why my walls so high and circle so tight
like a virgin's vagina.
Venus, Saturn and Uranus is all i see
I keep my eyes in the sky
and legs planted in the earth like a tree
You hating ass niggas ain't fucking with me.
I got places to go
Somebody to be.
And you can walk with me
if you tryna get free.
And we can't falter fail or stumble
but don't get cocky either always stay humble.
Put that shit away if it don't amount to nothing
We don't got time for it no more
Waited too long
Now we gotta catch up
Auditions are over
All bullshit will be cut.
The time is now, can't wait no longer
That's why I dismiss all that
wont make me stronger.
My movement begins with the
child within
That had dreams of being bigger
than life and badder than sin
I'm just tryna win.
Despite the odds
Despite my flaws
Despite your doubts.
I know what I'm made off
I know who got me.
I know what I can do.
I'm here on the starting line
Starter position, tied shoes
I'm ready to go, how about you?

Come In

They don’t wanna see you fly
But I would be a lie if I said I wasn’t
apart of the crowd that didn’t support you
and your decision
cause it ain’t what I want that’s best
it’s about God’s say in the matter
and I would love to say fuck the rest.
But I couldn’t look you in the eye
And not tell you the whole truth
Not warn you about the impending stress
The statistic that you are becoming
The shame I feel
The shame I feel for feeling shame
The heaviness that we falling in
And I say we cause you not going though alone
You never were
And you never will be.
I wish I could make this decision for you
And I would hold onto that guilt for you
Cry those tears for you
Cause that’s how I love when I love you
I would walk those stairs
And lay on my back
And feel that emptiness for you.
Just so you wouldn’t have to.
I'm sorry but...
I need you to be smart about this
I need you to think about more than
what we'll think
or what they'll say
or redeeming yourself through this.
I think it'll be too hard
I don't see the silver lining
But I see the storm on the horizon
I got something saved for a rainy day
but wouldn't it be smarter
to just come on in the house
A rain coat ain't strong enough for this
Just come in.
Wouldn't it be the smarter thing to do
Why would you try to bear the storm outside
When the house is able and ready to protect you?

Sleep

She awoke with the taste of sleep in her mouth.
It was stuck in the back of throat, and made her parched for more.
Lazily her eyelashes moved, her limbs where heavy with the drug of fatigue pulsing though her veins.
She moved her arms to one side of her body and lifted her knees to the sky.
It was a weird and vain attempt to get out of bed.
Eventually she gave up, sleep had won, and class would just have to go on without her today.
Rolling onto her stomach, she got tangled in the sheets.
Too sleepy to fix them, she let them choke her into a dream world.
She didn't mind though.

She had no intention of waking up.

So do it...

I wanted to write a poem tonight.
But my life got in the way.
Too busy doing shit to actually
think about what I was doing
Process it.
Flip and reverse to make it sound pretty.
Ahem..
Sometimes, it just hits you.
That these are the moments.
Moments in which life is all about.
Its about those endless almost sober drunk nights of driving.
With a nice soundtrack.
Its about what you have now,
not what you wish to get.
Its about being good in the moment,
not anticipating the next time you can have fun.
Participating fully into what your doing,
dreams are fun, but they're not life.
They're not even real yet.
Do it now, and feel it forever, before its over.
I learned the lesson fast.
Whether it comes to love or life.
Do it now, the next time may not exist.

Showers

On a gray rainy day
When black women
In their scarves and sweatpants
Travel to shops to get their hair done
I sat beside my window
And watched my reflection in the glass
The rain dropped and mimicked tears on my face
I sniffle at the sight
It been so long since I cried
Its been so long since I wanted too
The wind whipped branches along the balcony
The strong smell of spring in the air.
That salty intoxicating smell of rain
I could die like this I thought
Right now? I said to myself.
Just like this.
Perfectly content in the early spring rain on the outside of my window
Happy with the smell of the green grass.
Alone in the world.

Part Two

I took a shower in the dark once.
Pitch black, save for a single water proof flashlight
That sat on the toilet and created a silhouette
Fog rising and water falling
Hot steam on a naked body.
I felt alive and aware
as i showered in the dark,
Glistened in the dark
Chased the droplets of water on my skin in the dark.
I had to feel my way around my own body like never before
Reach for my toes and hope they're there
Feel the soap slide down my back and know its getting clean.
Trust my hands to do what
My eyes were trained to.
The climax came when the shower concluded.
Standing in front of a flashlight
Naked
Wet
Shining in all my glory
In the dark.