Contrary to what you believe'd us to be
We were unique
It's not everyday that a simple
conversation turns into an adventure
And souls get exposed
And emotions get messy
And none of this was planned you see
For me to bear my true self
almost mistakenly
is what hurts the most
Although others have had glimpses
into my depth
They were more like
perverted peeping toms
you were a preferred invited guest
And I guess what confuses me the most
is having to guess if I'm the
reason we'll never seen another season
like the one that just past.
Was it me?
Did I offer you a glimpse into a future
you wanted no part of?
Did I laugh like an ex-girlfriend?
Were my hands like hers?
Did I hold you like you the one who broke you?
Maybe I didn't hold you tight enough?
Was I too heavy?
Did my love for you radiate
through my eyes and bear down
into your soul?
Was I an anchor when all you wanted to do
was float?
Maybe I didn't do enough?
Maybe I mistakenly
hurt your feelings
and couldn't read your mind well enough to
know what I had done?
Was I too much of a flirt?
Speak to too many people,
laugh too much?
Was I overindulgent?
Or worse, was I not a lady at times?
Did my tomboyish ways make you soft?
Maybe the curve of my hip was too round
Or not round enough?
Maybe my eyes weren't quite the right shade of brown
You see my love,
maybe I'm too much of me for you.
I suffer from this psychological disease
where I can only always be me.
And it's led me to this same end
plenty of times
The question is never really "why?"
Why didnt we work?
or what did I do to deserve your change of heart?
All that's important is
what we were, when we were.
And we were beautiful
Unregrettably, unmistakably,
breathtakingly beautiful
And despite everything
I would do it all again.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
For Regular Girls
*it's not finished yet*
I write for regular ole black girls.
Brown and black girls with shorter hair
Average figures
and regular smiles.
I write for the women who felt
a tight pain in their chest when
Wayne said, "You like a bitch with no ass...
you aint got shit."
For the women who brought Booty Pops
and hit squats for hours after that.
I write for you.
I write for every black girl that
put a towel on her head and pretended
it was long and blonde.
I write for every girl who ever thought
that smart was a synonym for "not pretty"
And every pretty girl that thought that
was all she could ever be.
I'm sorry world that I wasn't born
with lighter eyes
or straighter hair
But Sojouner told me that despite
it all I'm still a woman.
So I write to remind other Hershey kissed queens
that they are worth more than covers of men's
magazines.
And that our skin was made this way
on purpose.
We, brown skins girls are responsible for
that moment in the day when
the sun and the moon are shining
at the same time.
They're fighting for our attention.
we, brown skin girls
are that cinnamon sprinkle over a mocha
chocolate latte, that Starbucks made in our honor
Brown skin girl
You are the mahogany colored caramel
that rises when sugar melts.
If "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
were a color, it would be you.
So tan black girl,
bask in that sun, brown girl.
Don't you know it rises every morning
searching for your melanin, because you
receive it like a warm welcome
and the glow looks good on you.
Vitamin D stands for "Don't I look good?"
and there's plenty of it in your bronze tone.
And while us henna colored homegirls,
golden goddesses, and sepia sistas continue
to swim in this pool of goodness
that we call our flesh,
we'll never forget to thank the Lord
for making us this way.
Being fearfully and purposely made
is a wonderful things.
And don't ever get discouraged when you
don't see your image reflected in the media.
You are too three dimensional to be explained
in such a flat format.
Trying to create our correct images
would cause glares similar to staring
in the sun for too long.
The world's eyesight isn't that strong.
There just aren't enough words to describe the
diversity that we brown skin girls encompass.
So regular will do until they find time
to create another language just for us.
But in the meantime, just know,
that while your beauty seems to go unnoticed
by mere mortals.
The sun, moon and stars
thank God for you.
I write for regular ole black girls.
Brown and black girls with shorter hair
Average figures
and regular smiles.
I write for the women who felt
a tight pain in their chest when
Wayne said, "You like a bitch with no ass...
you aint got shit."
For the women who brought Booty Pops
and hit squats for hours after that.
I write for you.
I write for every black girl that
put a towel on her head and pretended
it was long and blonde.
I write for every girl who ever thought
that smart was a synonym for "not pretty"
And every pretty girl that thought that
was all she could ever be.
I'm sorry world that I wasn't born
with lighter eyes
or straighter hair
But Sojouner told me that despite
it all I'm still a woman.
So I write to remind other Hershey kissed queens
that they are worth more than covers of men's
magazines.
And that our skin was made this way
on purpose.
We, brown skins girls are responsible for
that moment in the day when
the sun and the moon are shining
at the same time.
They're fighting for our attention.
we, brown skin girls
are that cinnamon sprinkle over a mocha
chocolate latte, that Starbucks made in our honor
Brown skin girl
You are the mahogany colored caramel
that rises when sugar melts.
If "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
were a color, it would be you.
So tan black girl,
bask in that sun, brown girl.
Don't you know it rises every morning
searching for your melanin, because you
receive it like a warm welcome
and the glow looks good on you.
Vitamin D stands for "Don't I look good?"
and there's plenty of it in your bronze tone.
And while us henna colored homegirls,
golden goddesses, and sepia sistas continue
to swim in this pool of goodness
that we call our flesh,
we'll never forget to thank the Lord
for making us this way.
Being fearfully and purposely made
is a wonderful things.
And don't ever get discouraged when you
don't see your image reflected in the media.
You are too three dimensional to be explained
in such a flat format.
Trying to create our correct images
would cause glares similar to staring
in the sun for too long.
The world's eyesight isn't that strong.
There just aren't enough words to describe the
diversity that we brown skin girls encompass.
So regular will do until they find time
to create another language just for us.
But in the meantime, just know,
that while your beauty seems to go unnoticed
by mere mortals.
The sun, moon and stars
thank God for you.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Untitled
It don't matter how beautiful
and soft and creamy you are.
Because you're broken
It don't matter how much he say
he love you
if you can never really believe it
You think you'll always end up alone and you do.
She loved it enough to stay away
Knowing that if she got too close her
feelings would change.
And she didn't want to mess up a good thing
Ain't that how the song go.
"If you love something, let it go."
But she knew it wasn't ever coming back.
and soft and creamy you are.
Because you're broken
It don't matter how much he say
he love you
if you can never really believe it
You think you'll always end up alone and you do.
She loved it enough to stay away
Knowing that if she got too close her
feelings would change.
And she didn't want to mess up a good thing
Ain't that how the song go.
"If you love something, let it go."
But she knew it wasn't ever coming back.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Damn.
I don't feel like talking but I want to communicate.
Since being with you I've learned
The inevitable can't be fought.
A river can't be forced to flow in any direction other than where it wants to go. Damn.
I should have known,
That I would I miss you when you left.
I pushed you away granted
But I was only testing your limits and I guess this was the crack that shattered us. Damn.
I wonder if it's too late or too soon
to wet my fingertips and scroll down the yellowpages
A repairman is needed.
I had plans, you did too, but I just think we reached a peak too soon.
Causing us to break levees and flood like katrina
Leaving eyes misty and mouths wet with salty tears and sad words
The same mouths that would drip in anticipation for each other
Are now vacuumed shut
No kind words cause even though we're "friends" I can't say nothing "friendly"
All that I can say is I'm sorry it happened this way, and as much as I don't want to let it go I don't know what else to do.
The waters rushing in. The oceans breaking through and suddenly I can't see you
I can't feel you
I can't hear you
So I must release you
Back into the sea
Where their are plenty of other fish
Fish much better than me
Since being with you I've learned
The inevitable can't be fought.
A river can't be forced to flow in any direction other than where it wants to go. Damn.
I should have known,
That I would I miss you when you left.
I pushed you away granted
But I was only testing your limits and I guess this was the crack that shattered us. Damn.
I wonder if it's too late or too soon
to wet my fingertips and scroll down the yellowpages
A repairman is needed.
I had plans, you did too, but I just think we reached a peak too soon.
Causing us to break levees and flood like katrina
Leaving eyes misty and mouths wet with salty tears and sad words
The same mouths that would drip in anticipation for each other
Are now vacuumed shut
No kind words cause even though we're "friends" I can't say nothing "friendly"
All that I can say is I'm sorry it happened this way, and as much as I don't want to let it go I don't know what else to do.
The waters rushing in. The oceans breaking through and suddenly I can't see you
I can't feel you
I can't hear you
So I must release you
Back into the sea
Where their are plenty of other fish
Fish much better than me
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Chase that Franco!
Shoutout to Diamond Newman at chasefranco.com for featuring me. Check her out. She's another City alum, really out there doing her thing and inspiring the masses. She featured me for my final art project; a collage entitled, "me and kia"
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
You Goin Fuck Up
Put your feeling before mine?
Think of you first?
These ideas seem so strange to me, its plain to see that I didn't know what I was getting into when I dialed your number
Thought nothing off it
Still flirting like its summer
Still dreaming of my distant lover
Not knowing you had plans for me.
Bigger than I had for myself
Everything you said you were gonna do you did
You truly are something else.
The situation is getting crucial
And I'm doing things I've never done before
Learning myself in ways that only happens when you encounter another
When you discuss private thoughts that otherwise would have never slipped through my lips
Passionate kisses affecting me in ways that I can't explain
Confusion abounds because it was never supposed to go this far.
And I always say whatever happens
As if I can truly go with the flow
But only when I already know the stream of water I'm floating in
Its so hard for me to do this.
I just don't know why, I'm trying to down play because I've always been shy.
But I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't want to hurt you but
I got the feeling that
I'm goin fuck up, a lot.
So, let this be a warning.
And don't say I never told you.
Think of you first?
These ideas seem so strange to me, its plain to see that I didn't know what I was getting into when I dialed your number
Thought nothing off it
Still flirting like its summer
Still dreaming of my distant lover
Not knowing you had plans for me.
Bigger than I had for myself
Everything you said you were gonna do you did
You truly are something else.
The situation is getting crucial
And I'm doing things I've never done before
Learning myself in ways that only happens when you encounter another
When you discuss private thoughts that otherwise would have never slipped through my lips
Passionate kisses affecting me in ways that I can't explain
Confusion abounds because it was never supposed to go this far.
And I always say whatever happens
As if I can truly go with the flow
But only when I already know the stream of water I'm floating in
Its so hard for me to do this.
I just don't know why, I'm trying to down play because I've always been shy.
But I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't want to hurt you but
I got the feeling that
I'm goin fuck up, a lot.
So, let this be a warning.
And don't say I never told you.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Addiction (I Understand)
This was my last time trying to convince myself to quit.
I had surrendered, prepared the ways to be okay with this in the future.
My "inspiration" I called it.
3rd generation alcoholic/addict
Yup it was on.
As I sat in the car, and Micheal Jackson's "I can't help it" played on.
I understand I cried.
I understand.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tuesday Night
Sometimes I think people tell you to pray
because they don't have the answer.
Its a distraction maybe.
I think the biggest mistake in my life
was considering life without God.
Cause now I believe it, a little.
In bed crying in the pillow cause
I'm leading a God less life.
What is my purpose, my aim?
I have to be sedated to exist in this mundane life.
"It wont be like this always"
Has become my mantra.
"I think I need help"
written on the walls of my brain.
I can't do this anymore
And I can't do it alone.
The loneliness is coming for me.
But I feel like it never really left.
It's almost comforting to see something so consistent in my life.
I'm hollow, empty, void of something
You can hear it when the wind blows through me.
I've tried to fill it with "work" "jobs" "clothes"
....I'm afriad to try men.
But in the end...I'm always
Alone.
because they don't have the answer.
Its a distraction maybe.
I think the biggest mistake in my life
was considering life without God.
Cause now I believe it, a little.
In bed crying in the pillow cause
I'm leading a God less life.
What is my purpose, my aim?
I have to be sedated to exist in this mundane life.
"It wont be like this always"
Has become my mantra.
"I think I need help"
written on the walls of my brain.
I can't do this anymore
And I can't do it alone.
The loneliness is coming for me.
But I feel like it never really left.
It's almost comforting to see something so consistent in my life.
I'm hollow, empty, void of something
You can hear it when the wind blows through me.
I've tried to fill it with "work" "jobs" "clothes"
....I'm afriad to try men.
But in the end...I'm always
Alone.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Thoughts on the End of my First Semester
Things I've Learned My First Semester
1. The Way the World Works
Apparently, humans all want the same thing. Some are just more aware of want they want then others. Some humans want to live basic. That is, to survive, they think about life day to day, worry about the here and now.
Others, we'll call them dreamers, think about life beyond the here and now. They dream about the future and wonder about the possibilities of life after their death. These people are the innovators, the Thomas Edison's, the Lena Horne's, the Susan B. Anthony's.
I strive to be like them. I want to live in a world where I use my present to make my future better for my kids, and their kids. For the generations to come long after I've died.
2. Real Friends Last
I've made a lot here in my first semester at UMBC. But I still feel just as confident in my relationships with the people I met in high school and middle school. #thatisall :)
3. Nobody Really Gives a Fuck
Plain and Simple. See number 5
4. It's Hard Living With a Stranger
But it's cool, when you guys have a little in common. My roommate was pretty cool. Guess you can say I made a new friend.
5. As you get Older, Shit Gets Realer
And it ain't even to much I can say about that. SMH
6. You Really Do Determine Your Life
EVERYTHING we do now, determines our future. And not just our future. Everyone's around us as well.
7. All Dreams don't come true, but sometimes that's okay
Sometimes, the dreams are just that; dreams. Hell, what would the world be like if everyone got what they wanted all the time anyway? Perfect
8.History really is important
And this I learned from watching "The History of Us" on the History Channel Sunday nights at 9. Definitely inspiring, and worthwhile. I learned that while some entertainer are good at what they do, they wont be remembered for anything significant. Real celebrity status comes when you change the fundamentals of basic human life. Not invent the latest dance style. We've got to stop teaching our kids to look up to Hollywood. The world is bigger than People Magazine.
9. College is over-rated...
Like a bitch.
10. ...but God willing, it'll be worth it.
Lord knows I hope I learn somethings, meet some people, and grow while I'm here.
I just hope I don't have to hurt nothing along the way. :)
1. The Way the World Works
Apparently, humans all want the same thing. Some are just more aware of want they want then others. Some humans want to live basic. That is, to survive, they think about life day to day, worry about the here and now.
Others, we'll call them dreamers, think about life beyond the here and now. They dream about the future and wonder about the possibilities of life after their death. These people are the innovators, the Thomas Edison's, the Lena Horne's, the Susan B. Anthony's.
I strive to be like them. I want to live in a world where I use my present to make my future better for my kids, and their kids. For the generations to come long after I've died.
2. Real Friends Last
I've made a lot here in my first semester at UMBC. But I still feel just as confident in my relationships with the people I met in high school and middle school. #thatisall :)
3. Nobody Really Gives a Fuck
Plain and Simple. See number 5
4. It's Hard Living With a Stranger
But it's cool, when you guys have a little in common. My roommate was pretty cool. Guess you can say I made a new friend.
5. As you get Older, Shit Gets Realer
And it ain't even to much I can say about that. SMH
6. You Really Do Determine Your Life
EVERYTHING we do now, determines our future. And not just our future. Everyone's around us as well.
7. All Dreams don't come true, but sometimes that's okay
Sometimes, the dreams are just that; dreams. Hell, what would the world be like if everyone got what they wanted all the time anyway?
8.History really is important
And this I learned from watching "The History of Us" on the History Channel Sunday nights at 9. Definitely inspiring, and worthwhile. I learned that while some entertainer are good at what they do, they wont be remembered for anything significant. Real celebrity status comes when you change the fundamentals of basic human life. Not invent the latest dance style. We've got to stop teaching our kids to look up to Hollywood. The world is bigger than People Magazine.
9. College is over-rated...
Like a bitch.
10. ...but God willing, it'll be worth it.
Lord knows I hope I learn somethings, meet some people, and grow while I'm here.
I just hope I don't have to hurt nothing along the way. :)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
My Movement
I shine, you shine.
I'm tryna see my people rise.
Cement shoes are prohibited on my boat.
We tryna swim in the lap of luxury
With those on, you won't even float.
See thats why I built a moat
for hating ass bitches like you.
Thats why my walls so high and circle so tight
like a virgin's vagina.
Venus, Saturn and Uranus is all i see
I keep my eyes in the sky
and legs planted in the earth like a tree
You hating ass niggas ain't fucking with me.
I got places to go
Somebody to be.
And you can walk with me
if you tryna get free.
And we can't falter fail or stumble
but don't get cocky either always stay humble.
Put that shit away if it don't amount to nothing
We don't got time for it no more
Waited too long
Now we gotta catch up
Auditions are over
All bullshit will be cut.
The time is now, can't wait no longer
That's why I dismiss all that
wont make me stronger.
My movement begins with the
child within
That had dreams of being bigger
than life and badder than sin
I'm just tryna win.
Despite the odds
Despite my flaws
Despite your doubts.
I know what I'm made off
I know who got me.
I know what I can do.
I'm here on the starting line
Starter position, tied shoes
I'm ready to go, how about you?
I'm tryna see my people rise.
Cement shoes are prohibited on my boat.
We tryna swim in the lap of luxury
With those on, you won't even float.
See thats why I built a moat
for hating ass bitches like you.
Thats why my walls so high and circle so tight
like a virgin's vagina.
Venus, Saturn and Uranus is all i see
I keep my eyes in the sky
and legs planted in the earth like a tree
You hating ass niggas ain't fucking with me.
I got places to go
Somebody to be.
And you can walk with me
if you tryna get free.
And we can't falter fail or stumble
but don't get cocky either always stay humble.
Put that shit away if it don't amount to nothing
We don't got time for it no more
Waited too long
Now we gotta catch up
Auditions are over
All bullshit will be cut.
The time is now, can't wait no longer
That's why I dismiss all that
wont make me stronger.
My movement begins with the
child within
That had dreams of being bigger
than life and badder than sin
I'm just tryna win.
Despite the odds
Despite my flaws
Despite your doubts.
I know what I'm made off
I know who got me.
I know what I can do.
I'm here on the starting line
Starter position, tied shoes
I'm ready to go, how about you?
Come In
They don’t wanna see you fly
But I would be a lie if I said I wasn’t
apart of the crowd that didn’t support you
and your decision
cause it ain’t what I want that’s best
it’s about God’s say in the matter
and I would love to say fuck the rest.
But I couldn’t look you in the eye
And not tell you the whole truth
Not warn you about the impending stress
The statistic that you are becoming
The shame I feel
The shame I feel for feeling shame
The heaviness that we falling in
And I say we cause you not going though alone
You never were
And you never will be.
I wish I could make this decision for you
And I would hold onto that guilt for you
Cry those tears for you
Cause that’s how I love when I love you
I would walk those stairs
And lay on my back
And feel that emptiness for you.
Just so you wouldn’t have to.
I'm sorry but...
I need you to be smart about this
I need you to think about more than
what we'll think
or what they'll say
or redeeming yourself through this.
I think it'll be too hard
I don't see the silver lining
But I see the storm on the horizon
I got something saved for a rainy day
but wouldn't it be smarter
to just come on in the house
A rain coat ain't strong enough for this
Just come in.
Wouldn't it be the smarter thing to do
Why would you try to bear the storm outside
When the house is able and ready to protect you?
But I would be a lie if I said I wasn’t
apart of the crowd that didn’t support you
and your decision
cause it ain’t what I want that’s best
it’s about God’s say in the matter
and I would love to say fuck the rest.
But I couldn’t look you in the eye
And not tell you the whole truth
Not warn you about the impending stress
The statistic that you are becoming
The shame I feel
The shame I feel for feeling shame
The heaviness that we falling in
And I say we cause you not going though alone
You never were
And you never will be.
I wish I could make this decision for you
And I would hold onto that guilt for you
Cry those tears for you
Cause that’s how I love when I love you
I would walk those stairs
And lay on my back
And feel that emptiness for you.
Just so you wouldn’t have to.
I'm sorry but...
I need you to be smart about this
I need you to think about more than
what we'll think
or what they'll say
or redeeming yourself through this.
I think it'll be too hard
I don't see the silver lining
But I see the storm on the horizon
I got something saved for a rainy day
but wouldn't it be smarter
to just come on in the house
A rain coat ain't strong enough for this
Just come in.
Wouldn't it be the smarter thing to do
Why would you try to bear the storm outside
When the house is able and ready to protect you?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Sleep
She awoke with the taste of sleep in her mouth.
It was stuck in the back of throat, and made her parched for more.
Lazily her eyelashes moved, her limbs where heavy with the drug of fatigue pulsing though her veins.
She moved her arms to one side of her body and lifted her knees to the sky.
It was a weird and vain attempt to get out of bed.
Eventually she gave up, sleep had won, and class would just have to go on without her today.
Rolling onto her stomach, she got tangled in the sheets.
Too sleepy to fix them, she let them choke her into a dream world.
She didn't mind though.
It was stuck in the back of throat, and made her parched for more.
Lazily her eyelashes moved, her limbs where heavy with the drug of fatigue pulsing though her veins.
She moved her arms to one side of her body and lifted her knees to the sky.
It was a weird and vain attempt to get out of bed.
Eventually she gave up, sleep had won, and class would just have to go on without her today.
Rolling onto her stomach, she got tangled in the sheets.
Too sleepy to fix them, she let them choke her into a dream world.
She didn't mind though.
She had no intention of waking up.
Friday, April 2, 2010
So do it...
I wanted to write a poem tonight.
But my life got in the way.
Too busy doing shit to actually
think about what I was doing
Process it.
Flip and reverse to make it sound pretty.
Ahem..
Sometimes, it just hits you.
That these are the moments.
Moments in which life is all about.
Its about those endless almost sober drunk nights of driving.
With a nice soundtrack.
Its about what you have now,
not what you wish to get.
Its about being good in the moment,
not anticipating the next time you can have fun.
Participating fully into what your doing,
dreams are fun, but they're not life.
They're not even real yet.
Do it now, and feel it forever, before its over.
I learned the lesson fast.
Whether it comes to love or life.
Do it now, the next time may not exist.
But my life got in the way.
Too busy doing shit to actually
think about what I was doing
Process it.
Flip and reverse to make it sound pretty.
Ahem..
Sometimes, it just hits you.
That these are the moments.
Moments in which life is all about.
Its about those endless almost sober drunk nights of driving.
With a nice soundtrack.
Its about what you have now,
not what you wish to get.
Its about being good in the moment,
not anticipating the next time you can have fun.
Participating fully into what your doing,
dreams are fun, but they're not life.
They're not even real yet.
Do it now, and feel it forever, before its over.
I learned the lesson fast.
Whether it comes to love or life.
Do it now, the next time may not exist.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Showers
On a gray rainy day
When black women
In their scarves and sweatpants
Travel to shops to get their hair done
I sat beside my window
And watched my reflection in the glass
The rain dropped and mimicked tears on my face
I sniffle at the sight
It been so long since I cried
Its been so long since I wanted too
The wind whipped branches along the balcony
The strong smell of spring in the air.
That salty intoxicating smell of rain
I could die like this I thought
Right now? I said to myself.
Just like this.
Perfectly content in the early spring rain on the outside of my window
Happy with the smell of the green grass.
Alone in the world.
Part Two
I took a shower in the dark once.
Pitch black, save for a single water proof flashlight
That sat on the toilet and created a silhouette
Fog rising and water falling
Hot steam on a naked body.
I felt alive and aware
as i showered in the dark,
Glistened in the dark
Chased the droplets of water on my skin in the dark.
I had to feel my way around my own body like never before
Reach for my toes and hope they're there
Feel the soap slide down my back and know its getting clean.
Trust my hands to do what
My eyes were trained to.
The climax came when the shower concluded.
Standing in front of a flashlight
Naked
Wet
Shining in all my glory
In the dark.
When black women
In their scarves and sweatpants
Travel to shops to get their hair done
I sat beside my window
And watched my reflection in the glass
The rain dropped and mimicked tears on my face
I sniffle at the sight
It been so long since I cried
Its been so long since I wanted too
The wind whipped branches along the balcony
The strong smell of spring in the air.
That salty intoxicating smell of rain
I could die like this I thought
Right now? I said to myself.
Just like this.
Perfectly content in the early spring rain on the outside of my window
Happy with the smell of the green grass.
Alone in the world.
Part Two
I took a shower in the dark once.
Pitch black, save for a single water proof flashlight
That sat on the toilet and created a silhouette
Fog rising and water falling
Hot steam on a naked body.
I felt alive and aware
as i showered in the dark,
Glistened in the dark
Chased the droplets of water on my skin in the dark.
I had to feel my way around my own body like never before
Reach for my toes and hope they're there
Feel the soap slide down my back and know its getting clean.
Trust my hands to do what
My eyes were trained to.
The climax came when the shower concluded.
Standing in front of a flashlight
Naked
Wet
Shining in all my glory
In the dark.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Silly Me.
I never would have ever imagined it would be this hard.
Finger pricked with blood from the cherry tree.
The pain brings me to reality
Got my mind running track
Finding a way, needing a map.
Fucking my poetry up too,
I can’t even writing about anything but you.
Can stop rhyming either.
Cant stop crying either.
Can’t stop trying either.
Fuck you, for not caring either way.
You just keep on twisting and pulling and pushing.
And I see that shit everyday.
I just can’t see me leaving you alone.
Loving you is like,
Not being able to walk away from a bomb.
Seeing the car on its way
I can feel the impact before it happens
But I just can’t pull over fast enough
Cant pump my brakes to save my life
I wanna scream and get out
But I’m trapped in the flames.
And they burn so good.
I just want to hold your smoldering bones
In my soul.
Let your ashes decorate the skin on my eyelids
So when I close my eyes and die
I still see you.
Snort the ashes on the broken rearview mirror
So when I overdose I still breathe you
You’ll linger in my bloodstream so
When I flex, I can still squeeze you.
Damn, I feel like I need you.
And the feelings not equal.
How naive of me.
Finger pricked with blood from the cherry tree.
The pain brings me to reality
Got my mind running track
Finding a way, needing a map.
Fucking my poetry up too,
I can’t even writing about anything but you.
Can stop rhyming either.
Cant stop crying either.
Can’t stop trying either.
Fuck you, for not caring either way.
You just keep on twisting and pulling and pushing.
And I see that shit everyday.
I just can’t see me leaving you alone.
Loving you is like,
Not being able to walk away from a bomb.
Seeing the car on its way
I can feel the impact before it happens
But I just can’t pull over fast enough
Cant pump my brakes to save my life
I wanna scream and get out
But I’m trapped in the flames.
And they burn so good.
I just want to hold your smoldering bones
In my soul.
Let your ashes decorate the skin on my eyelids
So when I close my eyes and die
I still see you.
Snort the ashes on the broken rearview mirror
So when I overdose I still breathe you
You’ll linger in my bloodstream so
When I flex, I can still squeeze you.
Damn, I feel like I need you.
And the feelings not equal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)