Contrary to what you believe'd us to be
We were unique
It's not everyday that a simple
conversation turns into an adventure
And souls get exposed
And emotions get messy
And none of this was planned you see
For me to bear my true self
almost mistakenly
is what hurts the most
Although others have had glimpses
into my depth
They were more like
perverted peeping toms
you were a preferred invited guest
And I guess what confuses me the most
is having to guess if I'm the
reason we'll never seen another season
like the one that just past.
Was it me?
Did I offer you a glimpse into a future
you wanted no part of?
Did I laugh like an ex-girlfriend?
Were my hands like hers?
Did I hold you like you the one who broke you?
Maybe I didn't hold you tight enough?
Was I too heavy?
Did my love for you radiate
through my eyes and bear down
into your soul?
Was I an anchor when all you wanted to do
was float?
Maybe I didn't do enough?
Maybe I mistakenly
hurt your feelings
and couldn't read your mind well enough to
know what I had done?
Was I too much of a flirt?
Speak to too many people,
laugh too much?
Was I overindulgent?
Or worse, was I not a lady at times?
Did my tomboyish ways make you soft?
Maybe the curve of my hip was too round
Or not round enough?
Maybe my eyes weren't quite the right shade of brown
You see my love,
maybe I'm too much of me for you.
I suffer from this psychological disease
where I can only always be me.
And it's led me to this same end
plenty of times
The question is never really "why?"
Why didnt we work?
or what did I do to deserve your change of heart?
All that's important is
what we were, when we were.
And we were beautiful
Unregrettably, unmistakably,
breathtakingly beautiful
And despite everything
I would do it all again.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
For Regular Girls
*it's not finished yet*
I write for regular ole black girls.
Brown and black girls with shorter hair
Average figures
and regular smiles.
I write for the women who felt
a tight pain in their chest when
Wayne said, "You like a bitch with no ass...
you aint got shit."
For the women who brought Booty Pops
and hit squats for hours after that.
I write for you.
I write for every black girl that
put a towel on her head and pretended
it was long and blonde.
I write for every girl who ever thought
that smart was a synonym for "not pretty"
And every pretty girl that thought that
was all she could ever be.
I'm sorry world that I wasn't born
with lighter eyes
or straighter hair
But Sojouner told me that despite
it all I'm still a woman.
So I write to remind other Hershey kissed queens
that they are worth more than covers of men's
magazines.
And that our skin was made this way
on purpose.
We, brown skins girls are responsible for
that moment in the day when
the sun and the moon are shining
at the same time.
They're fighting for our attention.
we, brown skin girls
are that cinnamon sprinkle over a mocha
chocolate latte, that Starbucks made in our honor
Brown skin girl
You are the mahogany colored caramel
that rises when sugar melts.
If "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
were a color, it would be you.
So tan black girl,
bask in that sun, brown girl.
Don't you know it rises every morning
searching for your melanin, because you
receive it like a warm welcome
and the glow looks good on you.
Vitamin D stands for "Don't I look good?"
and there's plenty of it in your bronze tone.
And while us henna colored homegirls,
golden goddesses, and sepia sistas continue
to swim in this pool of goodness
that we call our flesh,
we'll never forget to thank the Lord
for making us this way.
Being fearfully and purposely made
is a wonderful things.
And don't ever get discouraged when you
don't see your image reflected in the media.
You are too three dimensional to be explained
in such a flat format.
Trying to create our correct images
would cause glares similar to staring
in the sun for too long.
The world's eyesight isn't that strong.
There just aren't enough words to describe the
diversity that we brown skin girls encompass.
So regular will do until they find time
to create another language just for us.
But in the meantime, just know,
that while your beauty seems to go unnoticed
by mere mortals.
The sun, moon and stars
thank God for you.
I write for regular ole black girls.
Brown and black girls with shorter hair
Average figures
and regular smiles.
I write for the women who felt
a tight pain in their chest when
Wayne said, "You like a bitch with no ass...
you aint got shit."
For the women who brought Booty Pops
and hit squats for hours after that.
I write for you.
I write for every black girl that
put a towel on her head and pretended
it was long and blonde.
I write for every girl who ever thought
that smart was a synonym for "not pretty"
And every pretty girl that thought that
was all she could ever be.
I'm sorry world that I wasn't born
with lighter eyes
or straighter hair
But Sojouner told me that despite
it all I'm still a woman.
So I write to remind other Hershey kissed queens
that they are worth more than covers of men's
magazines.
And that our skin was made this way
on purpose.
We, brown skins girls are responsible for
that moment in the day when
the sun and the moon are shining
at the same time.
They're fighting for our attention.
we, brown skin girls
are that cinnamon sprinkle over a mocha
chocolate latte, that Starbucks made in our honor
Brown skin girl
You are the mahogany colored caramel
that rises when sugar melts.
If "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
were a color, it would be you.
So tan black girl,
bask in that sun, brown girl.
Don't you know it rises every morning
searching for your melanin, because you
receive it like a warm welcome
and the glow looks good on you.
Vitamin D stands for "Don't I look good?"
and there's plenty of it in your bronze tone.
And while us henna colored homegirls,
golden goddesses, and sepia sistas continue
to swim in this pool of goodness
that we call our flesh,
we'll never forget to thank the Lord
for making us this way.
Being fearfully and purposely made
is a wonderful things.
And don't ever get discouraged when you
don't see your image reflected in the media.
You are too three dimensional to be explained
in such a flat format.
Trying to create our correct images
would cause glares similar to staring
in the sun for too long.
The world's eyesight isn't that strong.
There just aren't enough words to describe the
diversity that we brown skin girls encompass.
So regular will do until they find time
to create another language just for us.
But in the meantime, just know,
that while your beauty seems to go unnoticed
by mere mortals.
The sun, moon and stars
thank God for you.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Untitled
It don't matter how beautiful
and soft and creamy you are.
Because you're broken
It don't matter how much he say
he love you
if you can never really believe it
You think you'll always end up alone and you do.
She loved it enough to stay away
Knowing that if she got too close her
feelings would change.
And she didn't want to mess up a good thing
Ain't that how the song go.
"If you love something, let it go."
But she knew it wasn't ever coming back.
and soft and creamy you are.
Because you're broken
It don't matter how much he say
he love you
if you can never really believe it
You think you'll always end up alone and you do.
She loved it enough to stay away
Knowing that if she got too close her
feelings would change.
And she didn't want to mess up a good thing
Ain't that how the song go.
"If you love something, let it go."
But she knew it wasn't ever coming back.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Damn.
I don't feel like talking but I want to communicate.
Since being with you I've learned
The inevitable can't be fought.
A river can't be forced to flow in any direction other than where it wants to go. Damn.
I should have known,
That I would I miss you when you left.
I pushed you away granted
But I was only testing your limits and I guess this was the crack that shattered us. Damn.
I wonder if it's too late or too soon
to wet my fingertips and scroll down the yellowpages
A repairman is needed.
I had plans, you did too, but I just think we reached a peak too soon.
Causing us to break levees and flood like katrina
Leaving eyes misty and mouths wet with salty tears and sad words
The same mouths that would drip in anticipation for each other
Are now vacuumed shut
No kind words cause even though we're "friends" I can't say nothing "friendly"
All that I can say is I'm sorry it happened this way, and as much as I don't want to let it go I don't know what else to do.
The waters rushing in. The oceans breaking through and suddenly I can't see you
I can't feel you
I can't hear you
So I must release you
Back into the sea
Where their are plenty of other fish
Fish much better than me
Since being with you I've learned
The inevitable can't be fought.
A river can't be forced to flow in any direction other than where it wants to go. Damn.
I should have known,
That I would I miss you when you left.
I pushed you away granted
But I was only testing your limits and I guess this was the crack that shattered us. Damn.
I wonder if it's too late or too soon
to wet my fingertips and scroll down the yellowpages
A repairman is needed.
I had plans, you did too, but I just think we reached a peak too soon.
Causing us to break levees and flood like katrina
Leaving eyes misty and mouths wet with salty tears and sad words
The same mouths that would drip in anticipation for each other
Are now vacuumed shut
No kind words cause even though we're "friends" I can't say nothing "friendly"
All that I can say is I'm sorry it happened this way, and as much as I don't want to let it go I don't know what else to do.
The waters rushing in. The oceans breaking through and suddenly I can't see you
I can't feel you
I can't hear you
So I must release you
Back into the sea
Where their are plenty of other fish
Fish much better than me
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Chase that Franco!
Shoutout to Diamond Newman at chasefranco.com for featuring me. Check her out. She's another City alum, really out there doing her thing and inspiring the masses. She featured me for my final art project; a collage entitled, "me and kia"
Thursday, December 2, 2010
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